Tuesday, July 5th

2:24 a.m.

I'm going to try this blog thing out and see if I enjoy it. Hopefully it'll allow me to convey my thoughts more coherently (not sure what they amount to) and in some respects hone my writing skills. Let's find out.

You know, even by rereading that last sentence or so, I realize how poorly I spell late at night. I usually make typos, but I read while I write so I generally fix them immediately. Unfortunately in the wee hours of the morning I seem to be oblivious to what I type. I can click through entire paragraphs and not realize how grammatically incorrect it all is. It could be my eyesight, or just being plain tired. I'm leaning more towards the former than the latter though. I know I shouldn't stay up this late, but it's fun talking to people online and responding to forums. All the west coast people post rather late in the day (for me), so I generally am up for hours talking to them -- about total nonsense too. But in the end I know I shouldn't do it. My eye lids always feel like weights and I nearly fall asleep sitting up. It can't be healthy. I bet this is what it will be like in college though. Then I'll be forced to stay awake finishing papers and studying - I had enough of that in high school (the staying up part at least).

I never studied much in high school, yet I did fairly well I believe. I took rigorous courses, applied myself when need be, but never fully went all out. I know I could have done better and achieved on a higher level, but in the end I'm satisfied with the results. I got into the college I wanted to, I graduated with honors, and am perceived by my friends as relatively intelligent. Hence the word relatively...if I did not use it they may beg to differ. I'm sure everything will change this fall - everybody tells me I'm going to have to apply myself. I will spend every waking moment studying, laboring over textbooks, and not have a minute of spare time. I have to do well or I'll fail...flunk out and then where will I be? I beg to differ. I know it will be challenging to say the least, but I know it's nothing that I can't accomplish. Nothing is too difficult, or they wouldn't put you through it. In actuality, I'm looking forward to it. It's going to be something I've never experienced before -- a new sense of freedom. I'm on the footstep of a new, wonderous life which in my head I'm wary of taking, though I know inside I'll be fine. I just have to get there first, then everything else will take care of itself. It always does.

It's quarter till three now and I'm getting tired, so I think I'll end this for now. I've never really kept a journal -- once when I was little I did, but it was essentially nothing. The process of putting your thoughts down is a nice feeling. It kind of allows you to think more clearly -- forcing you to actually process your thoughts in order to put them into coherent sentences makes you ponder. It seems once I get typing it's hard to stop -- I didn't know I had that much on my mind tonight.

Until I post again,
Tommy