Geraldo Rivera is a Dumbass

I think the title says it all. While watching the Hurricane Dennis post impact coverage today I happened to catch Geraldo reporting live from Florida, and yet again he proved his unwavering stupidity. It became apparent quickly, nearly at the beginning of his broadcast (what's new?). Located at a local hotel parking lot Geraldo began his commentary on the curb away from the camera - his intention being to walk towards it and allow it to pan the flooding and damage - in this he succeeded. While stepping across the street he passed an enormous branch draped nearly entirely across the road. He touched it of course, but instead of moving it off the street, possibly proving himself a service to humanity instead of sustaining his usual worthless role, he dragged it further into the road. Now he continues to walk towards the camera, and low and behold a car zoom past behind him. Whether the branch proved a hindrance I couldn't tell, but I doubt it helped the situation.

Then he began talking. He had tried to end his report after crossing the street and stomping around in the flooded mess, but the Fox News host had no intention of him quiting. She persisted by asking him to continue talking about the storm and his past hurricane reporting experience. Here things really got comical. You see, his report was finished and he was out of information. He had nothing pertinent left to say, yet he kept at it. He had to. So what happened? His mind turned off and his mouth kept going. His ego roared into action and a stream of irrevelant statements flowed from his mouth. The host said he was an expert at hurricane reporting, and instead of humbly playing it down he elaborated upon it. He brought his brother into the picture, his life along the Florida coast and how well he did his job. After rambling on and on he finally ran into a problem. He couldnt think of enough adjectives to put in front of the word Hurricane. He tried, yet stumbled. He faltered...it was apparent his mouth was moving faster than his brain, and it ran smack into a brick wall. Yet it wasn't long before they again attempted contact (a few seconds pause was all). During this time he thought he had a response. Animals! He would use an animal as his metaphor for the storm. What a novelty! What genius! What creativity! What a waste...In the end some bullshit was produced; the storm was like a ferocious tiger, roaring onto land and devastating the beachfront. What power...what elegance! What bullshit. He couldn't even say it with a straight face -- he stopped briefly mid sentence realizing how dumb it sounded, yet he continued... he had to, he was committed.

Finally amid this segment (they may have cut to the news then come back by this time) he showed previous footage of himself surviving the storm while it pummelled the coast. This part made me laugh extremely hard. He screamed into the microphone while rain pelted his hunched body, and the roaring wind nearly cost him his balance. If he had fallen I would have been rolling on the floor in laughter...it would have been priceless. I wish he could host his show on Fox like that - every weekend would be At Large with Geraldo Rivera on location within the heart of another hurricane...think of the possibilities. I bet his show rating might actually rise if that were to happen. It would provide a nice comical half-hour to Fox's lineup.

Finally we'll end with his near expulsion from Iraq back in 2003. While that should have sealed his career...it only got him his own show on Fox. Go figure. I enjoyed how he blamed the entire ordeal on MSNBC, his former employer for his ineptness. It's common logic you don't expose the location of the armed forces division your embedded with, and it should be common sense not to expose their next plan of attack. Yet Geraldo did, and in the dumbest of ways as well. I never knew he would lower himself to actually touching the sand and dirt he walks on...but to my surprise he did, and drew a map of his location and the proposed military actions of the 101st Airborne division. Thankfully the Pentagon had the balls to remove him, and this they moved to do. Geraldo actually had enough sense to remove himself before such force needed to be taken. Good job buddy, way to be sharp out there. Alas he still is an idiot, and nothing seems to be changing as the years progress. His ego continues to inflate along with his career. Maybe one day Fox will realize the mistake they made in putting him on cable news.

Kuddos Rivera. Here's to many more exciting hurricane reports and excursions across the world. Good luck and please Geraldo, keep reporting in Iraq - maybe you might get an exclusive interview with a terrorist. What a story that would be. I have no doubt you'd show it.